Finally, a message! It was just a matter of finally getting out of the boat. Getting out of the boat was first inspired by a message I heard from John Ortberg, Teaching Pastor of Willow Creek Community Church in February 1997. He talked about over coming the fears of failure and taking a risk by having faith in God.

It was about late 1996 that I first thought of ‘The Bacpage.’ What a great way to reach out and share my faith! I have a lot to incorporate into the overall content. The main focus would be on my writings on the joys, and the simple day to day things in life as a Christian. I could say time and resources prevented me from doing it and in part they did, but the biggest reason was fear.

I had written a few things before and asked people to read them and the thing that I always heard was, "You have some good ideas, but you should take a writing class." My grammar and punctuation were poor, that nobody would read and think about the message, but rather criticize writing based on the grammar. I took a couple of writing classes, but my use of the English language never improved. I still write in a thing called the passive voice, have fragmented sentences and I am sure a lot of other things. So the fear of cyberspace English teachers stopped me from taking the risk. Then I heard John Ortberg's message and got all fired up and was certain God was telling me ‘Go for it!’ ‘Forget those teachers with the red pencils, and get out of the Boat!’

Then procrastination, so I thought took over. I’d get to it soon, but not just now. The time wasn’t right. I didn’t know anything on building a web site. I soon found there was software that would make building a website easy. What about the cost of hosting a web site? Certainly, that was a good enough excuse to not take the risk. I don’t have a lot of money to invest in something that is probably just going to be a failure. I wanted a real site not one of these sites where you are site within a site. If I’m going to have a web site it has to be a real web site! Found, the cost of web hosting a site was about $25 a month. I use to easily spend that in a bar on a typical weekend night. Next excuse? There were less and fewer excuses. So in March of this year I finally started the web site ‘The Bacpage’ Nothing fancy, but it looks OK for a first time webmaster. Now the messages, go for it!

FEAR - What if what I write makes no sense? My friends will be reading this! They know I’m nuts and a little touched, and not by an Angel. They will begin to look at me and think, "He’s weird!!" 'Where did he ever get the notion he could write?' "Maybe we should stop hanging around him!" "Do I really want this person talking to my kids?" "He definitely is not a healthy person!" - FEAR

Fears, of failure, and not taking a risk because I lacked faith. How many times in my life was I on the brink of great joy but never experienced the joy, because I was to afraid? How many times does my son see my fear and become fearful himself? How many times did a friend become disappointed in me because I would only talk of my desires, but have never took the risk to pursue them? How many times have I talked with a non-believer about having faith, but yet never shown faith myself?

Did that lack of faith stop them from checking out Jesus Christ as a person they can put their faith in?

As a Christian, I believe my main purpose in life is to share the gospel. I fall short when I put my fears first and my faith second.

The Bacpage has been a live and active Christian website for almost two months without a message. Its main objective is to share the gospel to non-believers, and give growth to fellow believers and myself. But fear has prevailed. I prayed for guidance, encouragement and some type of acknowledgment from God. He has not audibly talked to me and I’m certain never will, since he hasn’t even sent me an e-mail.

 I do keep thinking of John Ortberg's message, over two years ago now. The story of Peter getting out of the boat is in Matthew 14:25-33.

Is it God’s way of communicating his desire for ‘The Bacpage’? I don’t know. Will my fear of cyberspace teachers be realized? Will I experience a great joy in serving God this way? Will my fears have an impact on my own son’s fears and spiritual growth? Will my friends and others raise their eyebrows and snicker over my messages? Will my lack of faith be an excuse for someone else not to put their faith in Jesus Christ? Will someone accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior through the Bacpage and my messages?

God, I know I don’t know the answers. I pray God you will remove my fears of failure. Encourage me to continue taking the risks and to have faith in you. and do as Peter did and get out of the boat.