Friendships A Gift From God
Scott C. Kalas

Make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose - Philippians 2:2

This first verse as explained in a one of my daily readings ’Minute Meditations for Men’ by Bill Barnes is telling us to heal our relationships and start getting along together.

What are your initial thoughts? ‘I am doing my part by getting along. It is my friend who is not doing their part.’ Or perhaps you are thinking, ‘I wish I could but they have hurt me.’ There are many things that come between friends; change, being busy, and misunderstandings.

Change comes in many shapes, sizes, and flavors. One of the first types of changes that come to mind is spiritual growth. As a Christian I am hopefully growing daily in my relationship with Jesus Christ. It is never as fast as I want it to be. There are many things that distract me from keeping my eyes on Jesus.

Usually for me the distraction is the same one. For whatever reason it will appear as the one thing I need in my life to make it whole. I’ll pick it up many times, it may hurt me but unlike the ‘hot stove don’t touch’ learning experience, I will touch it many times and will get hurt many times. I have my reasons even though they may be wrong. Nobody sees what I see. After all you found what makes your life whole can’t I have one too?

Though I may be wrong in wanting to keep touching one thing that is reassuring to me is if Jesus were a friend of this world He wouldn’t say ‘You don’t seem to be learning. Look how fast your friends are growing. Why can’t you be like them? Your spiritual growth is to slow; I’m giving up on you. I’m going to find someone else who is more in tuned with where I’m at spiritually. After all I need to grow and you are preventing that, if you decide to ever get it together give me a call, Bye.’ Then walk away, as I stood there in the dust of my own despair, look back at me and shake His head in disappointment at my lack of spiritual growth.

Friends do not fail friends especially in the time of need.

Being busy is not a hard thing to be; parenting, working, housework, cooking, church and much more. It is easy to become overwhelmed. Maintaining friendships only adds to the load. Along with change and being busy it is easy to simply let friendships falter. The when someone asks ‘What happened you were so close’ to reply ‘That’s life.’

I’ll have to admit to using that excuse. I might not use those exact words, but I might say ‘What you going to do?’ ‘Oh. Well, that’s the way it goes.’ What I’m really saying is ‘I don’t like what is happening but to change it means a confrontation. I don’t like confrontations, I’m afraid if I say what my heart is saying I’ll be misunderstood and I’ll only make it worse.‘

What if Jesus feared confrontations, you think He would have hopped on that donkey one Sunday morning. What about the times he faced confrontations by the Pharisees and turned to Peter and said ‘Pete, I know something is not right here, but I’m really not into confronting these guys and trying to make things right.' What you say we just forget it. I mean after that’s life, what you going to do?

Friends do not deny friends the opportunity to make things right

Misunderstandings, this is one of the most difficult. It usually is a result of gossip. Gossip will spawn misdirected or false accusations; ‘I can’t believe they could do that to you.’ ‘I have know proof, but I know this is happening.’

I try to avoid gossip at all cost, but trying does not always lead to success. Once I’m caught in the web of gossip, it is hard not to say something that won’t hurt someone. I attempt to apply God’s word to the situation. But I don’t always admit that I don’t have enough wisdom in knowing God’s word (that is the sin of pride). In return I end up in a tangled mess of gossip.

Person 1 speaks to a person 2 about what person 3 did to person 4. Person 2 tells person 1 what they think of person 3 and person 4. Person 1 then goes tells person 5 what person 2 said about person 3 and person 4. Person 2 tells person 6 what person 1 said about person 3 and person 4. Person 5 and person 6 meet talk about what person 1 and person 2 were saying about person 3 and person 4. Person 7 over hears what person 5 and person 6 are talking about person 3 and person 4. Person 6 tells person 7 what they think about person 4. Person 7 tells person 4 what person 6 said about person 4. Person 4 tells person 6 what they think about person? Pick a person! Get the idea? Add all this gossip to the stress, failed desires, and other confusion that we all face in our daily lives it’s a miracle God can make sense of it all.

Friends do not gossip so as to create suspicion that will result in disunity among all friends

Is there a friend you may have left standing in their own dust of despair? Even if that dust is caused by bad judgment by them in your eyes or by lack of good judgment by you in their eyes. Go to your friend wrap your arm around your friend and say ‘I love you and despite of our differences in spiritual growth, you are a gift from God and I will always love.’

Is there a faltering friendship because of something that falls in to the category of ‘That’s life!’? Take time to pray for God to reveal to you what it really is. Chances are you know but are denying it to avoid confrontation. After praying for His revealing pray for courage to confront your brother/sister, pray for words of wisdom in expressing your concerns. Go to your friend wrap your arm around your friend and say ‘I love you and despite of those ‘that’s life’ things, you are a gift from God and I will always love.’

Is gossip causing disunity among friends? Are things being said that are may be false accusations, or misunderstandings? Go to your friend wrap your arm around your friend and say ‘I love you and despite of what I think I might know through my own eyes and what others are saying, I want to hear from you. You are a gift from God and I will always love.’

If a friend approaches you and says ‘I love you despite our differences in spiritual growth, despite those ‘that’s life’ things, despite what I think I might know through my own eyes and what others are saying, I want to hear from you or approach you on anything. Wrap your arm your friend and say ‘Yes you are a gift from God and I will always love and I will listen!

Pray together to God. Pray to Him and give thanks for bringing you together in friendship. Pray for give remembrance of those times you shared love, trust and cared for each other, those times before dissension. Pray for Him to reveal the right and wrong in both of you. Pray for forgiveness for your mistakes. Pray again for the blessing of friendship he has given you.

Friendships, we can choose to end them. God would prefer us to end those friendships where a friend has refused to repent from sin and we have done all we can to show them the sin. We can choose to end a friendship because we may think we are growing differently spiritually. We may end a friendship because ‘That’s life.' We may end a friendship because of misunderstanding and false accusations. We can choose to deny there is anything wrong with the friendship and do nothing to correct it. God knows what is truly in our hearts. I know friendship is a gift from God and a gift from God is a terrible thing to waste.

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