Hey did you hear¼?
Gossip the easiest way to destroy a friendship, divide the Christian Community and give a flag of victory to the evil one.

Scott C. Kalas

A perverse man stirs up dissension,
and a gossip breaks up close friends. Proverbs 16:28 NIV

The Message

            A recent friend of mine told me how they were struggling with the gossip among their circle of friends. They were hesitant to share struggles and or other topics of discussion fearing how it may come back to hurt them. It has gotten to a point where they are thinking of attending service at another time or another church all together. They just wants to avoid the potential consequences of gossip, admitting gossip is one of the toughest sins they need to overcome.

            I’ve personally seen some great friendships end or be greatly weaken because of this horrendous sin. We all are guilty to one extent or the other. It is so easy to fall into.  For many they’ll fall victim to it with out even knowing it. Most times when this happens it has already achieved the evil ones purpose. That purpose is to cause dissension amongst brothers and sisters in Christ.

A person may approach a friend with whom they trust and speak to them in confidence on a matter that is very sensitive to them. They have been struggling to share the subject in fear others may hear and cast judgment on them. The friend may share it with someone who does not directly know the person, thinking it to be okay since it won’t get back to the person. Whether the person who confided knows the trust has broker does not matter. The friend has broken the trust! Would you want that trust you have given to someone else broken?

How often have you sat amongst a group of friends, in your home, a friend’s home, at work or any social gathering, even at church when the topic turns to a discussion on a particular person who is not present? Perhaps there are some peculiarities about this person that make it easy to voice a negative tone on this person. However you don’t speak a word not wanting to be a part of gossip. So you just sit back quietly listening. Proverb’s 17:4 speaks of how you as the listener is just as wicked as those speaking. Just because you are not speaking a word of gossip it does not free you from the sin of gossip.

If you are a victim of gossip don’t repay an evil act with an evil act of your own. Know that it is God who will seek revenge. In Romans 12:19 the Lord says, “It is mine to avenge.”  Instead pray for healing for the hurt caused you and pray for the person who did you wrong. If  the person approaches you asking for forgiveness grant it to them. You may need to ask God for strength depending upon the severity of the falsehood. If the person does not act for forgiveness and stands by there actions go to a brother or sister and as a group pray for guidance. You as brothers and sisters who are spiritual should make an effort to restore the fallen brother or sister. You may have to approach the elders of your church if the person refuses to acknowledge their sin and continues to spread the gossip to others.

We as Christians must remember that are actions are remembered more then the  words of our faith in Jesus Christ. We are going to be scrutinized and judged by secular friends, co-workers and family members in a harsher manner being professed Christians. If there is one thing a critical non-believer likes to see is non-Christian behavior from a Christian. The evil one delights in it. It shows the non-believer that Christians are only hypocrites nothing more. The sin of gossip is one of the easiest sins to fall victim to.

As I think about my friend dealing with gossip by going to another service or church. They are falling victim to this sin just as the evil one wants them to. He knows there gossip exist in all churches and human nature of all those who attend. It will only be a short amount of time before this person falls to the gripping claws of gossip again.

How can we avoid falling victim to the demon named “gossip”? I can’t say it can be avoided 100% because we are only human. However, we should make a conscious effort to look for its presence and step away from it when it appears.  If you know you are one who can easily be grasped in to this demon’s wishes include a request in your daily prayer to have God prompt and warn you when you are thinking of the words and to stop you before they are said. If you are unsure if you are a gossiper ask God to give you discernment when a conversations you are in turns to gossip. Ask him for the words to excuse yourself and if among Christians tell them why you wish to be excused and suggest they stop and discern their words. Remember to remove the log from your eye though before you cast judgment. Don’t speak words of gossip and when someone replies cast-unjustified accusations upon him or her.

What the Bible Says[1]

·        Do not spread false reports. Do not help a wicked man by being a malicious witness. - Exodus 23:1

·        Do not go about spreading slander about your people – Leviticus 19:16

·        On the testimony of two or three witnesses a man shall be put to death, but no one shall be put to death on the testimony of only one witness – Deuteronomy 17:6

·        Not a word from their mouth can be trusted; their heart is filled with destruction. Their throat is an open grave; with their tongue they speak deceit. Psalms 5:9

·        Everyone lies to their neighbor, their flattering lips speak with deception

·        Lord who dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? He who walks is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart and who has no slander on his tongue who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman. Psalms 15:1-3

·        He who conceals his hatred has lying lips and whoever spreads slander is a fool. Proverbs 10:18

·        A gossip betrays a confidence but a trustworthy man holds his tongue. Proverbs 11:13

·        When we put bits into the mouth of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Like wise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and it is itself set on fire by hell. James 3:3-6

·        Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 1 Peter 3:9

 I recommend getting a good Bible commentary for further study on the above scripture. A personal recommendation is Nelson’s New Illustrated Bible Commentary published by Thomas Nelson Publishers

 The Next Steps in growth

If you have gossiped about someone confess it to God, ask for His forgiveness and ask God how you may correct the wrong you have done. It may be that you have to approach the person you gossiped about. Before doing so talk with a close Christian friend some you have a great trust and who is safe and they won’t further the issue by gossiping themselves.

             After praying and talking to a friend and it is decided to confess your sin to the person or persons you gossiped about go to them and explain what you did. Tell them you regret your actions and will take actions to correct it. This may be going to those you gossiped to and telling them of your wrong. This should be the decision of the person who was gossiped about. Regardless you must take ownership of your actions. Do not attempt to blame it on others. When Christians fall but acknowledge their sin, it removes the flag of victory from the Satan. Further more it shows the non-believer as Christians we do sin but we acknowledge and take action to correct are wrongdoings.

 Visit your local Christian Book store or visit an online retailer and find some books or Bible studies that cover will help you to claim victory on gossip

Prayer

            Dear heavenly father we ask that you prompt us before our tongues spew words of gossip about friends, co-workers, family and even those who may have done us wrong. We ask for your forgiveness on those we may have already slandered through a malicious gossiping action. Show us ways we may correct are wrongs and give us the wisdom and courage to act upon those wrongs. We pray for those who we may have hurt through gossip whether intentionally or through lack of thinking before we spoke that they may be healed of the hurt we may have caused. We pray for this in Jesus name - Amen